The Burden
Feeling like a burden or an inconvenience is a hard pain in your heart making you feel like your brain goes into darkness, a hole you don't know how to escape. Sometimes it starts with your parents, people who you are supposed to rely on to help guide you into the world but they silence you telling you that you talking about your problems isn't going to help. So you allow that to settle in your mind forever making the words you try to say come out like penguin language, stuttering not knowing how to tell someone you want help, you need help, that you're struggling. Then overtime you make "friends" people you think will help you be your wall that you can lean on but whenever you want to try to talk to them... they turn around and make it about themselves....about their issues and eventually your just helping them and you get put on that back burner. I am here to say you are NOT alone, you can be heard, your problems do not have to suffocate you into the abyss. You are more than what others tell you in a rated PG-13 sense fuck other peoples opinion of you, fuck the people who claim being there for you when they are not. I have felt like a burden for so long, hell I still do I have been told by the people I care about the most, people I have dropped everything for tell me that they saw me as a mistake in this world, all they can talk about is all the fuckups I have done but never the things I do (which is more than the fuckups i've done in my youth).
Diminishment is another hard thing to go through when you feel like this, all you do is try, you try everything you want to just make people proud no matter how much it drains you, breaks you all you want is to be seen in this but instead you get told things like you don't know how things work (when your the one taking care of it everyday), saying certain things that make you feel like you are failing so they feel needed because the ironies of ironies you go to these same people for help. Unfortunately, all you ended up doing is getting minor help with major repercussions because now they have more to pin you down with more to take away your self worth and you just want something to help you escape but you have no idea how to.
